Mental Health Day: Excused Absence

I just some quick thoughts on the idea of taking a “mental health day” from work or school.

I was in my Business class today and nearly half of my class didn’t show up and my Professor made a comment to the effect of, “Oh they must all be taking a so-called “mental health day”. Something about the way she said it, laughingly, got my attention and made me start to wonder why we get “sick days” for work and why only medical notes are what considers an absence for class excused.

Obviously the idea of a “mental health day” could be abused by those who are just simply not wanting to go into work or class; but can’t you also do that with a doctors note? There are days, we all have them, when we get so stressed and overwhelmed that we often find ourselves on the verge of a mental breakdown. I know I’ve found myself there more than once when there’s a lot going on at school; and then life throws some more at me because it seems that everything happens all at the same time. I’ve bawled my eyes out over the littlest things, panicked about nothing, and just been overwhelmed so easily when I am extremely stressed, and I know I am not the only one.

It should be okay for us to call into work or email a Professor saying, “Sorry I wasn’t there today, I really needed a mental break.” I understand that a lot of this problem is society’s fault, and the pressure and fast pace of today’s world doesn’t help. However, that is never going to change unless we force it to.

We need to start acknowledging that our mental health is just as, in fact maybe more, important than our physical health.

I know this all won’t change overnight, but don’t let an unexcused absence keep you from taking care of your mental health. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and do what you need to do to be in a good place where you can both be and perform at your best.

  • @AllForHim28
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How To Find Your Passion

One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to go into college as an undecided major.

At first it was really hard being surrounded by so many of my peers who knew exactly what they wanted to do. They had their majors declared, and they made friends easier because they bonded over the passion they all shared. Not to mention that they were taking the same classes – most of the time together. It seems dramatic, but it was easy to feel like an outsider, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life – and I do realize how absurd that sounds. What exactly is wrong with being unsure of your life goals at 18? Let me tell you, NOTHING. 

Being an undecided major meant that I didn’t have a 4-year plan already drawn up as a Freshman. I wasn’t tied down to taking any specific classes, and that gave me the freedom to explore so many different fields. I took courses in Philosophy, Computer Programming, Politics, Business, Economics, Finance, Psychology, Accounting, Social Work, Marketing, and Art. Wow, right? I know, it’s a lot, but taking all of those classes helped me to find my passion. 

fell in love with Photography in an Intro to Photo class I took during my first semester Freshman year. I used Photoshop for the first time, and I was able to take photos I had taken and turn them into something more, adding an artist statement to give the photos a deeper meanings. It was the perfect fit for me, but then I realized that I most likely couldn’t really be successful in that career. So I explored the Drugs and Human Behavior class I was in, and started to love the idea of being a Social Worker. But as I took more Social Work courses, I realized that that wasn’t the field for me. That sent me back to square one with no clear direction for my life.

I decided to take a Marketing course because it seemed like the next best thing, and I fell in love with it. The next thing I had to decide is which side of marketing I wanted to be on, the visual side or the business side. So I took a few more classes, did some side work creating graphics and redesigning logos, and I also took an Intermediate Photography class and that’s when I knew that I wanted to be on the graphic side of Marketing, and I FINALLY declared a major.

The moral of the story is that in order to find your passion, you have to have an open mind and the freedom to explore. Don’t be afraid to swim upstream and go against the flow. You don’t have to do everything your friends are doing – what’s right for them might not be right for you. Stay focused on what you want and work hard, and you’ll find your passion on the road to success. 

Best of luck, DMs are always open


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17 Minutes of Silence

Today as I was reading through my timeline I felt prompted to write this post, hoping to maybe give myself and other students some peace that we’re not in this alone –  and reassurance that there is some beauty amidst the heartbreaking pain. 

Within the first 45 days of 2018 there were 17 school shootings in the US. Then, on February 14th in Parkland, Florida number 18. 14 students and 3 teachers lost their lives at Stoneman Douglas High School. Today, March 14th, students all around the country walked out of their classes and stood silent for 17 minutes to honor the victims of the Parkland shooting.  However, this movement has gotten much larger than just Parkland, this is a generation crying out to those in office to do something about gun violence. Students want there to be stricter gun laws in place and assault rifle ownership to be illegal so that they feel safe and protected in the schools they attend. 

This might sound silly, but as I was watching my Snapchat stories today and scrolling through my social media, there were posts and videos all over of my friends standing silent, the news headlines talking about the walk out, and my peers pleading for change. Students, some of which not yet of voting age, carried signs pleading to those who are saying things such as “Love your kids, not your guns.” as pictured below. As well as things like “Am I next?” and “How many more?”

If these signs don’t pierce your heart, what will? I’m only 20 years old, but if there’s anything I’ve noticed is that tragedy brings people together, and oh it is so refreshing.  It’s comforting to me to listen to an interview with a student from Parkland talk about how they have received letters from other schools saying that they are praying for them, and his response is that Parkland is there for them too.  Here is just a short video posted by Fox News of footage from today’s walkout in some states. 

So, I guess just wanted to write this post not only to pay tribute to those who have lost their lives to gun violence and school shootings, but I wanted to encourage you and all students across the country that we’re in this together. Enforcing better gun control laws is not a fight that can be ignored, nor it is a fight one can win alone, but as long as we continue to make our voices be heard and be the passionate generation we are, we can do it together. 

Always here for you, 


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Thankful for the Scars

Recently I came across this song by I AM THEY while YouTube was on auto-play in the background while I was studying.  I wasn’t in the best mood that day, but this song hit me and I really wanted to share it with you.  

Throughout life we all gets scars in some form another, whether that be physical or emotional. Maybe you’ve self harmed, maybe you were physically abused.  Or maybe you were emotionally manipulated and beat down, maybe you have a broken heart. Whatever your story is, wherever your scars came from, know that they are nothing to be ashamed of.  Scars tell stories, most importantly they tell stories of survival.

The lyrics of the song posted above say . . .

“Now I’m standing in confidence, with the strength of Your faithfulness. And I’m not who I was before. No, I don’t have to fear anymore, So I’m thankful for the scars, Cause’ without them I wouldn’t know Your heart. And I know they’ll always tell of who You are, So forever I am thankful for the scars.”

When we’re going through the trials of life, the light at the end of the tunnel seems lost, and oh-so distant. But it is those moments that give us the opportunity to find victory. Let me explain what I mean.

It we were never challenged in life and it was always “easy”, what would make us want to chase Jesus? If we could do this life on our own, why wouldn’t we? There’s a quote that my high school small group leader once said to me and it has stuck with me ever sense. 

If the devil isn’t testing you, that means that he isn’t afraid of you.

I can’t be the only one who has gone through hard times and asked God, “Why me, why are you letting this happen?” Going through those phases of anger, and then crying out desperately because doing it on my own just isn’t working anymore.  — And you know who always shows up, despite the burdens I carry and the scars I wear? — It is in the darkest moments of our life, open wounds and all, that make us need and want Jesus more than ever. The battles we face open doors to pursue Jesus with a new desire. 

Not only that, but Jesus bears the scars you and I were meant to wear. He died that death, because he loves you. And when you run to him with your scars, he opens his hands and says, “Me too.”

We have a God who meets us where we are, who carries us always, and who willingly died the death we deserve. So, “I’m thankful for the scars, cause without them I wouldn’t know [His] heart.”

  • @AllForHim28
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Silent Love

The other day in church I found myself memorized by the sign language interpreter, watching her almost the entire time.  I was completely captivated.  The preacher was talking, and if I’m being honest, I started to get lost in thought, but all of a sudden I got it.  Love is not what you say, it is what you do.  

I have heard this so many times, and I’m sure you have too, but have you ever took the time to think about it? 

Sometimes people who say they love you, don’t act like it.  Now I’m not saying that we all have to be perfect and never make mistakes.  I’m just simply suggesting that maybe we need to start paying more attention to how we act.   

It’s not about the long paragraph you write your significant other about how amazing they are, and it’s not about telling someone you’re going to be there for them.  It’s about showing your girlfriend/boyfriend that they are amazing and treating them that way.  Take them out, do random little things, pick up their favorite pizza and a movie for no reason at all.  Show them what they mean to you.  As for being there for someone, actually do it.  Check in on them, take them to coffee or lunch, or whatever else you want to do to show them what they mean to you.

Jesus died the death that we deserve, why? Because he loves us.  He didn’t just say “Oh I love you”, and that’s it.  He sacrificed himself for you, for me. 

And that’s what we need to do.  We need to have the kinda love that doesn’t require words, we need to have silent love. 

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Save as Draft

If you have listened to Katy Perry’s more recent music, you probably instantly thought of the song that she released back in June when you read this blog title.  I’d be lying if I said that that song doesn’t hit me right in the feels.  It’s low-key been on repeat for the past couple days. 

You know when you’re tired and emotional and it’s 2 in the morning and you have a mushy text all typed out to someone you know you shouldn’t start a conversation with, and you just sit there, maybe crying, re-reading what you have written, but then you hit the back button and “save as draft”?  That is precisely the moment that this post is about.  And if that has ever been you, or if that is you right now, keep reading.

It is so easy to act on pure emotion, especially late at night, when your mind races and you overthink.  We’ve all been there, we just don’t all talk about it.

For me, it’s an ex, and an ex best friend.  I so badly wanna reach out to them, or as Katy Perry says, “throw a line to you”.  But at the same time, I know that it isn’t the best decision for me, because there is a reason that we stopped talking in the first place. Right?  I mean yeah, sometimes there are situations where you do need to reach out, but I think you know that’s not what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about that ex who hurt you, that best friend who stabbed you in the back, the guy who used you, the situations you know are toxic in your life.

The phrase that comes after “throw a line” in Katy Perry’s song is, “But I should let sleeping ducks lie, because I know better baby.”  AND FRIENDS THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART.  It is so crucial, because if you know better, you do better.  I know you’ve heard that from a parental figure in your life at some point.  Let me put it this way, if you were able to get out of a emotionally manipulative, destructive, toxic relationship, why would you want to go back?   “What good would it do to re-open the wound?”

I promise you that there are people who care and are there for you, and you do not need to go back to the people who hurt you.  And I understand the feeling of wanting to know how someone is doing, having the desire to know if they are okay.  But don’t act like you aint creepin’, we all do it.  And that is as close as you should get, because that can even turn toxic if you start to obsess over it.

So, with all that said, I hope that you don’t text them tonight.  Don’t go back to the people that hurt you, instead turn to Jesus to help you let go of them.  (And letting go does not mean forgetting, at all.)  So, “take a deep breath, and ‘save as draft’”.

Lots of love,

  • @AllForHim28
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It’s so easy to start to let your emotions guide your life.  And while they are definitely an important part of enjoying and living your life, it can be so toxic to let them control you.  When life gets good, we have this tendency to stray away from God or let our foot off the gas pedal if you will.  For some reason think that we are the reason our life is good, that we did this without God, and that is just so not true.  Good things come from the Lord, and we should not ever try to take credit for that. 

I saw a quote the other day, “When life is a bed of roses, don’t forget who wore the thorns.

This is the gospel in the purest form.  He loved you so much, that His son died the death you deserved, that you still deserve.  We have a good good Father, who shows us the most unconditional love, the never ending forgiveness, and amazing grace, all with no hesitation.  

So next time you find yourself in a season of pure bliss and complete joy, instead of doing what you might normally do, stop and think about the price Jesus paid so that you could live the life you’re living today.  He paid it all, for you.

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Things Change . . .

So, for those who don’t know, I went through a messy breakup over a year and a half ago.  I wrote a little bit about it in a post a while ago if you’re interested in reading it.  I’m not going to write the same stuff all over in this post, so don’t click away just yet.

I’ve changed so much since my breakup, and just wanted to share some thoughts and advice if you will, for anyone who might be struggling through the same situation I went through then or just simply anyone who has been hurt in a relationship.  It took me a really long time to fully let go of my ex, and honestly I never thought that I would be where I am today.  I am in an incredible relationship with a man I love, a man who loves me with a crazy kind-of love, and I couldn’t be happier.  But with all that said, of course there are days when my ex on my mind, days like today.  Things still remind me of him, and a piece of me will never stop loving him. 

I often feel guilty for thinking about my previous boyfriend, because of my own personal struggles and because it doesn’t feel “fair” to the man I am with now.  But I am beyond blessed in that he will listen to me for hours on end, and just be there for me, no matter what. I am so thankful that God gave me him.  But back to what I was saying, I think the most important lesson I have taken away from my breakup was learning the hard way, that I am stronger than I thought I was, and that it’s okay to still miss someone who hurt you. 

If you can relate to anything I have said this far, please really listen to this . . .

You are 100% allowed to miss someone who hurt you.  You are allowed to miss an ex, and you can absolutely handle the situation you’re in, in the way you feel is best.  But with that said, it is so important to have a support system and to listen to what they have to say.  Sometimes calling your ex or whoever, at 2am isn’t the best idea.  You have to balance your emotions and be able to be rational.  Sometimes you could be doing something that only hurts yourself, and you can’t see that, which is why it is so important to bring people in and to talk to them.

I am in a place now, where I can genuinely say that I am thankful for the heartbreak I went through.  Maybe you’re not there yet, and that it so okay, because I promise one day you will be.  God uses pain in the most unexpected and incredible ways, for me, it made me a better person, it made me love more, and most importantly, it pushed me to cling more tightly to God. 

So whatever pain and heartache you might be going through, hang in there, I promise it doesn’t last forever, things change.  I am here for you always, and I would love to talk to you, DM me!

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What’s the Purpose?

Sometimes I look back at my life, the things I’ve been through, the people I’ve lost, and I get so upset because of how much I miss them.  So angry because of how hard some things were.  Losing grandparents, best friends, an ex boyfriend, a community to belong, and the opportunity to attend certain age-specific church camps.  Going through seasons of depression, heartbreak, you get my point.  But more recently I have realized that there have been far too many days that I have let these things bring me down and get in the way of chasing joy.  

Ecclesiastes 3:1 – 12 says 

“Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses.  He sets the time for birth and the time for death, the time for planting and the time for pulling up, the time for killing and the time for healing, the time for tearing down and the time for building.  He sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy, the time for mourning and the time for dancing, the time for making love and the time for not making love, the time for kissing and the time for not kissing. He sets the time for finding and the time for losing, the time for saving and the time for throwing away, the time for tearing and the time for mending, the time for silence and the time for talk. He sets the time for love and the time for hate, the time for war and the time for peace.  What do we gain from all our work?  I know the heavy burdens that God has laid on us. He has set the right time for everything. He has given us a desire to know the future, but never gives us the satisfaction of fully understanding what he does. So I realized that all we can do is be happy and do the best we can while we are still alive.”
I still struggle when it comes to patience and recognizing that every season has a purpose, but this section of scripture gives me so much peace and hope.  I don’t want to get too deep here, but I have lost a few people I never thought I would in the past few years and saying goodbye to someone still alive is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.  Some of you can totally relate to that.  It is also extremely difficult to accept an apology that you will never receive. But my point is that even though doing those things and dealing with the struggles of life can be extremely difficult and exhausting, it is essential to becoming who we are meant to be.  
Everything in my life has led me to where I am now.  My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets.  If I had done things differently or decided to just quit when things got hard, I wouldn’t be who I am today.  I might not have met who are now the most important people in my life.  I just think it is so important to hold onto these versus and to be able to recognize during life’s trials that God’s got this.  He’s got us and in Romans 8:18 we are reminded that “The pain that [we’ve] been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.” 
So, whatever you are going through right now I hope that you can find peace in that this season has a purpose.  It might not make sense right now, but it will one day. Hold on to God and Hold on to hope. Everything is going to work out. 
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