Thankful for the Scars

Recently I came across this song by I AM THEY while YouTube was on auto-play in the background while I was studying.  I wasn’t in the best mood that day, but this song hit me and I really wanted to share it with you.  

Throughout life we all gets scars in some form another, whether that be physical or emotional. Maybe you’ve self harmed, maybe you were physically abused.  Or maybe you were emotionally manipulated and beat down, maybe you have a broken heart. Whatever your story is, wherever your scars came from, know that they are nothing to be ashamed of.  Scars tell stories, most importantly they tell stories of survival.

The lyrics of the song posted above say . . .

“Now I’m standing in confidence, with the strength of Your faithfulness. And I’m not who I was before. No, I don’t have to fear anymore, So I’m thankful for the scars, Cause’ without them I wouldn’t know Your heart. And I know they’ll always tell of who You are, So forever I am thankful for the scars.”

When we’re going through the trials of life, the light at the end of the tunnel seems lost, and oh-so distant. But it is those moments that give us the opportunity to find victory. Let me explain what I mean.

It we were never challenged in life and it was always “easy”, what would make us want to chase Jesus? If we could do this life on our own, why wouldn’t we? There’s a quote that my high school small group leader once said to me and it has stuck with me ever sense. 

If the devil isn’t testing you, that means that he isn’t afraid of you.

I can’t be the only one who has gone through hard times and asked God, “Why me, why are you letting this happen?” Going through those phases of anger, and then crying out desperately because doing it on my own just isn’t working anymore.  — And you know who always shows up, despite the burdens I carry and the scars I wear? — It is in the darkest moments of our life, open wounds and all, that make us need and want Jesus more than ever. The battles we face open doors to pursue Jesus with a new desire. 

Not only that, but Jesus bears the scars you and I were meant to wear. He died that death, because he loves you. And when you run to him with your scars, he opens his hands and says, “Me too.”

We have a God who meets us where we are, who carries us always, and who willingly died the death we deserve. So, “I’m thankful for the scars, cause without them I wouldn’t know [His] heart.”

  • @AllForHim28
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Silent Love

The other day in church I found myself memorized by the sign language interpreter, watching her almost the entire time.  I was completely captivated.  The preacher was talking, and if I’m being honest, I started to get lost in thought, but all of a sudden I got it.  Love is not what you say, it is what you do.  

I have heard this so many times, and I’m sure you have too, but have you ever took the time to think about it? 

Sometimes people who say they love you, don’t act like it.  Now I’m not saying that we all have to be perfect and never make mistakes.  I’m just simply suggesting that maybe we need to start paying more attention to how we act.   

It’s not about the long paragraph you write your significant other about how amazing they are, and it’s not about telling someone you’re going to be there for them.  It’s about showing your girlfriend/boyfriend that they are amazing and treating them that way.  Take them out, do random little things, pick up their favorite pizza and a movie for no reason at all.  Show them what they mean to you.  As for being there for someone, actually do it.  Check in on them, take them to coffee or lunch, or whatever else you want to do to show them what they mean to you.

Jesus died the death that we deserve, why? Because he loves us.  He didn’t just say “Oh I love you”, and that’s it.  He sacrificed himself for you, for me. 

And that’s what we need to do.  We need to have the kinda love that doesn’t require words, we need to have silent love. 

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Save as Draft

If you have listened to Katy Perry’s more recent music, you probably instantly thought of the song that she released back in June when you read this blog title.  I’d be lying if I said that that song doesn’t hit me right in the feels.  It’s low-key been on repeat for the past couple days. 

You know when you’re tired and emotional and it’s 2 in the morning and you have a mushy text all typed out to someone you know you shouldn’t start a conversation with, and you just sit there, maybe crying, re-reading what you have written, but then you hit the back button and “save as draft”?  That is precisely the moment that this post is about.  And if that has ever been you, or if that is you right now, keep reading.

It is so easy to act on pure emotion, especially late at night, when your mind races and you overthink.  We’ve all been there, we just don’t all talk about it.

For me, it’s an ex, and an ex best friend.  I so badly wanna reach out to them, or as Katy Perry says, “throw a line to you”.  But at the same time, I know that it isn’t the best decision for me, because there is a reason that we stopped talking in the first place. Right?  I mean yeah, sometimes there are situations where you do need to reach out, but I think you know that’s not what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about that ex who hurt you, that best friend who stabbed you in the back, the guy who used you, the situations you know are toxic in your life.

The phrase that comes after “throw a line” in Katy Perry’s song is, “But I should let sleeping ducks lie, because I know better baby.”  AND FRIENDS THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART.  It is so crucial, because if you know better, you do better.  I know you’ve heard that from a parental figure in your life at some point.  Let me put it this way, if you were able to get out of a emotionally manipulative, destructive, toxic relationship, why would you want to go back?   “What good would it do to re-open the wound?”

I promise you that there are people who care and are there for you, and you do not need to go back to the people who hurt you.  And I understand the feeling of wanting to know how someone is doing, having the desire to know if they are okay.  But don’t act like you aint creepin’, we all do it.  And that is as close as you should get, because that can even turn toxic if you start to obsess over it.

So, with all that said, I hope that you don’t text them tonight.  Don’t go back to the people that hurt you, instead turn to Jesus to help you let go of them.  (And letting go does not mean forgetting, at all.)  So, “take a deep breath, and ‘save as draft’”.

Lots of love,

  • @AllForHim28
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Things Change . . .

So, for those who don’t know, I went through a messy breakup over a year and a half ago.  I wrote a little bit about it in a post a while ago if you’re interested in reading it.  I’m not going to write the same stuff all over in this post, so don’t click away just yet.

I’ve changed so much since my breakup, and just wanted to share some thoughts and advice if you will, for anyone who might be struggling through the same situation I went through then or just simply anyone who has been hurt in a relationship.  It took me a really long time to fully let go of my ex, and honestly I never thought that I would be where I am today.  I am in an incredible relationship with a man I love, a man who loves me with a crazy kind-of love, and I couldn’t be happier.  But with all that said, of course there are days when my ex on my mind, days like today.  Things still remind me of him, and a piece of me will never stop loving him. 

I often feel guilty for thinking about my previous boyfriend, because of my own personal struggles and because it doesn’t feel “fair” to the man I am with now.  But I am beyond blessed in that he will listen to me for hours on end, and just be there for me, no matter what. I am so thankful that God gave me him.  But back to what I was saying, I think the most important lesson I have taken away from my breakup was learning the hard way, that I am stronger than I thought I was, and that it’s okay to still miss someone who hurt you. 

If you can relate to anything I have said this far, please really listen to this . . .

You are 100% allowed to miss someone who hurt you.  You are allowed to miss an ex, and you can absolutely handle the situation you’re in, in the way you feel is best.  But with that said, it is so important to have a support system and to listen to what they have to say.  Sometimes calling your ex or whoever, at 2am isn’t the best idea.  You have to balance your emotions and be able to be rational.  Sometimes you could be doing something that only hurts yourself, and you can’t see that, which is why it is so important to bring people in and to talk to them.

I am in a place now, where I can genuinely say that I am thankful for the heartbreak I went through.  Maybe you’re not there yet, and that it so okay, because I promise one day you will be.  God uses pain in the most unexpected and incredible ways, for me, it made me a better person, it made me love more, and most importantly, it pushed me to cling more tightly to God. 

So whatever pain and heartache you might be going through, hang in there, I promise it doesn’t last forever, things change.  I am here for you always, and I would love to talk to you, DM me!

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